Before I had a child, when I saw my mother suffering from “Mommy Guilt”, I swore that I would never succumb to it. My mother felt feels guilty because we didn’t have a lot of money growing up. She feels guilty because she had to work around the clock, and because we didn’t have tons of fancy toys or clothes. Even though I try to reassure my mother all of the time that she did a great job raising us, she still suffers from Mommy Guilt.
Ironically, as new mother, I find myself suffering from the very same thing—a huge dose of Mommy Guilt. I don’t feel guilty because I think that I’m a horrible mother. I feel guilty because sometimes I’m not as engaged as I want to be. When I’m working, K doesn’t have my undivided attention. On days when we don’t leave the house, I feel guilty because we didn’t go anywhere or do anything mentally stimulating. I make my son’s baby food, but I feel guilty if I’m not mixing up his menu with different fruits and veggies. I feel guilty if his clothes stay in the laundry basket all week. I feel guilty if I leave him in the walker for too long. There’s just a host of things that make me feel guilty as a mommy. When I spoke to my best friend this week, she said that she, too, suffers from a bad case of Mommy Guilt. She feels guilty because some days she has to dart off for work and doesn’t have much time in the morning to play with her little one. I guess whether you’re a SAHM, WAHM or work-outside-of-the-home mom, Mommy Guilt can still strike you. It doesn’t discriminate. It can strike any mommy in any situation at any time.
Although I haven’t found a cure for Mommy Guilt, I find comfort in knowing that I’m doing the best that I can for my son. That’s all any of us can do. We’re trying the best that we can with the resources that we have to make the best life for our children. Every day will not be perfect. I know I will not always want to or have time to read K a story or take him for a walk, but at the end of the day, I love my little one, and as long as I allow love to lead and guide the decisions I make for him, I know that everything will work together for the good. I remind myself of my own childhood. My mother may wish that she did a number of things different, but not having those things hasn’t made any difference to me. She’s the best mother, and if I had to choose a mom, I’d definitely choose her. I hope that K feels the same way about me one day. But, even if he doesn’t, I know that I will have kept the faith and finished the race. The rest is up to God.
What do you do to cure Mommy Guilt?