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| My nephew…Don’t let the smile fool you! |
When I found out that I was pregnant, I swore I’d do things differently. I wanted my son to be well behaved and disciplined, and I didn’t want my son to “talk back” or be sarcastic when talking to us. This week, I discovered that I have no idea how to get those outcomes. I say this because my husband and I are babysitting my 4 year old nephew and he is a discipline problem to say the least.
I’ve always been in my nephew’s life. I’ve always taken him places, bought him things, and spent tons of time with him. Needless to say, he experienced a little jealously when we had K, but we’ve managed to let him know that he still has a special place in our hearts.
However, now, my nephew is completely and utterly spoiled. He is out of control. Despite my sister spanking him at least twice a week (It clearly is not working), she still has problems with discipline. My nephew told us that he was put out of his class last week. We’ve had problems with his mouth (back talk) and obedience. Last night, he refused to eat his salad and we had a dramatic episode that included crying and throw up. I reached level 10 when it came to my frustration with his refusal to eat. What this situation taught me is when it comes to discipline, my storehouse is empty. I have no idea how to make this child obey us, and as I said before, spankings do not work. He still engages in the same negative behavior.
While pregnant, I read Parenting the Way God Parents and I felt confident that I had some tools in my arsenal. However, after last night, I realize that I need help. My husband reassured me that we have problems with my nephew because my sister allows negative behavior at home and that it would be different with K because we’re raising him. But, I still feel like I need some tips on discipline.
While pregnant, I read Parenting the Way God Parents and I felt confident that I had some tools in my arsenal. However, after last night, I realize that I need help. My husband reassured me that we have problems with my nephew because my sister allows negative behavior at home and that it would be different with K because we’re raising him. But, I still feel like I need some tips on discipline.
For you experienced moms, how do you discipline your children and how do you teach them respect?
We're going through a parenting series in Sunday School, and this is what I've learned: the focus should be on the heart rather than the behavior. Although behavior certainly needs to be addressed, it ultimately comes from the heart. As a parent, you need to spend time developing a relationship with your child as the first step. Also, spend every waking moment teaching him about God, Who He is, and what He has done. Teach him about sin and forgiveness and grace. And in these first few years of his life, you must insist on obedience every time. Obedience with a good attitude no less! And when he doesn't, you need to get down on his level and gently remind him that God commands children to obey their parents, and that anything less is sin. And sin must be punished. Usually at that point, I give my child one more chance to obey with a good attitude, and he often does. Otherwise, it's time for disciplinary action (spanking/time-out/whatever). And if discipline is necessary, I give him a chance to pray and ask God for forgiveness, and then I pray out loud for him.