So many things happened this weekend. First, K stayed overnight at his grandmother’s for the first time for two and a half days while my husband and I went on a church marriage retreat. He did great! He didn’t have any crying fits. He did stay up all night the first night, which had me concerned. We did alright too. The first day was hard for me because I didn’t want K to think that we abandoned him, but things got better. The only problem is when we came home K didn’t want to come to me. He held on to my mother. That hurt me, but he warmed up and eventually came to me.
K also turned 1 last week and we had a little party for him. We had a great time, but all of the people made K very nervous, so he cried hysterically the first hour. He even cried after we sang “Happy Birthday.” He’s been having crying fits when we have company or go to other people’s houses. I’m hoping he’ll grow out of it. He calmed down by the end of the evening and played with his guests.
The Marriage Retreat
As I said, my husband and I spent the weekend on my church’s marriage retreat in Virginia. The retreat was life changing. The topics of the workshops included forgiveness, intimacy, and dying to self. The facilitators were ministers and psychologists and they broke the Word down! They had us do exercises that helped us see how our childhoods affect our marriage today. It opened my eyes to the origins of a lot of my behaviors. The workshops helped my husband see a lot of things too. He realized that he had unresolved issues from his relationship with his deceased father. Now, that we can identify the point of reference for some of our behaviors, we can work together to change them.
On Saturday night, all of the couples dressed up and we had dinner and dancing. My husband and I had so much fun. We danced until midnight. One of the things that the retreat helped me realize is that I need to devote as much time and energy to my husband as I do to the baby. Since K’s birth, I’ve kind of settled into “Mommy mode” and haven’t really taken time to minister to my husband. The retreat helped me see how important it is for us to minister to one another and nurture our love. Taking a vacation from work and parenting really helped me to see my husband’s heart again and the things (emotional, physical and spiritual) he needs from me. After this weekend, I’m committed more than ever to making our love last by not letting the fire burn out. Needless to say, we’re already planning to attend next year’s retreat.