Once we have kids, it’s down to us to teach them and provide them with the tools to succeed. And, it all starts in the early stages of life when they begin to talk and interact. Parents who don’t communicate healthily teach their children the same bad habits which may hold them back in the future.
Even worse, some of us may not realize the kids are watching. If they are, they’re taking in information that will come back to your moms in the future. It can take a while, yet it’s inevitable. Still, even when we understand this, it’s not straightforward to act as a role model. We are only human and make mistakes.
The first part of the process is to accept this is the case. The second is to try as hard as possible to be consistent. Here are a few of the ways we can all be better leaders for our children.
Yell Behind Closed Doors
The hubby is the partner in crime who is supposed to have our backs. So, when he doesn’t, it’s not uncommon to get angry. Plus, husbands and wives are comfortable with each other to the point where yelling isn’t a big deal. It’s almost a coping mechanism to get us through the day!
Kids don’t see it this way as it isn’t commonplace for their young minds. Instead, they take it as proof that everybody interacts in this way. That’s why shouting matches should always go on behind closed doors where nobody else can hear.
Then, we get to vent our frustrations without impacting the kids’ minds. It’s essential to be civil until the point where they have no clue what is going on. Then, we can unload as if our lives depending on it, which is always cathartic. Also, this approach teaches them that you’re a team and won’t be divided.
Do As I Do
A saying the majority of parents use is “do as I say, not as I do.” While there is and will always be an element of hypocrisy about having kids, this isn’t a good motto. Why? It’s because it teaches them they aren’t liable for their actions. If there is one thing adults know after going through it, it’s that there are zero handouts.
So, by teaching them that they have to be responsible, they should learn not to shirk their duties. If this sounds like a tough ideal to instill, it isn’t with the help of a couple of handy hints. One is a family dentist. Lying on the chair and going through the same procedure means there are no excuses when it’s their turn. And yes, this includes wearing braces and a retainer if necessary.
Another alternative is to reduce our amount of screen time. Watching TV and surfing the Web is relaxing, yet we want our kids to exercise more. Therefore, we need to work out too, and we can do that by putting down the iPad.
Talk Positively About Ourselves
Lots of teenagers, especially young girls, struggle with their image and self-confidence. It’s easy to write this off as a personal journey, yet we know better as women. For one thing, we wouldn’t be doing our jobs as mothers if we didn’t try and make our kids’ lives less stressful. Secondly, we understand the link between negative comments and self-esteem.
For this reason, it’s essential not to downplay our achievements. There’s no reason to be cocky or arrogant – the truth will suffice. But, we shouldn’t point out our fears or insecurities either. Some parents may view this as censorship, yet it’s an effective way to ensure personal criticism isn’t a regular occurrence.
When our kids see us being positive about life in general, they should (hopefully) follow suit.
Never Fear Failure
It’s easy to preach about failing and getting back up again, but it’s difficult to do in real life. Kids aren’t stupid and they can spot the times when we play it safe. It may be with a new recipe or with a career move yet they’ll see the fear and judge.
Rather than hiding it, we can put it out there for our kids to see in all its glory. Sure, it’s scary and humiliating at times, and we won’t enjoy the experience. However, we should be able to teach them a life lesson if we come back as strong as before.
Sometimes, words fade away, but actions last a long time. As parents, we do well to remember this when leading by example.