Partner Post: Rising From The Ashes: Tools To Make A Break From The Past After A Relationship Ending

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When you are trying to communicate a sense of unity, whether you’re in a relationship or a marriage, it can be a long-lasting challenge but can feel like you’re clutching at straws if the relationship is feeling like it cannot be salvaged. And for all of the pain and heartache that comes with a breakup, it can take a long time for you to make a break with the past. When we start a new life, there are so many ties we have, even if we instigated the breakup, it can still feel like we are delving into the unknown. Are there any ways for us to make a healthy break with the past, not just for the sake of our present emotions, but our future ones too?

Accept Mistakes As Part Of The Learning Process

A lot of people look at mistakes as a sign of weakness. When we are rising from the ashes, it is part of the learning process that we realize we’ve made mistakes and we’ve accepted that we have done things wrong, but this helps us to grow as a better person. Whether someone was involved in a relationship where domestic violence was an everyday occurrence, the person on the receiving end can feel like a victim, that they have failed, not just the relationship, but themselves. But, here is a fact of life, we all make mistakes, and this is something we have to come to terms with.

Forgiveness Is Essential

This is probably the hardest part of any grieving process, but it is one of the most important stepping stones to move on in life. Forgiving ourselves, or forgiving the other party, means we can let go of that hate that was weighing us down. Having forgiveness as part of our moral makeup means that we can stay away from the negative emotions involved in any breakup as much as possible. It may take some time to get it right within ourselves, but it is essential to our overall feelings of happiness.

Don’t Belittle Yourself

Emerging unscathed from any difficult relationship is impossible. We can feel that we failed ourselves, or everybody around us. But it’s important as far as the act of acceptance is concerned, that we ensure we do everything in our power to make ourselves heal and grow from the experience. We can feel that we emerge as the injured party, and this leads to a lot of victim-like mentalities. This is not healthy, and it makes for a longer recovery process. Making a break with the past can mean we have crises of confidence, and we can spiral into more anxiety or depression, but when you do emerge, you will have learnt so much about who you are, and how you can progress in life, that you can view this as a speed bump that temporarily held you up on the path to true happiness.

Making a break with the past isn’t about separating the past from the present and the future, it’s about using the past and present and recognizing what you can learn from it to make yourself a better human being.

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