I think a lot of men are intimidated by dating a preacher. I also think some men are cautious about or completely avoid dating single mothers. That’s because we are serious and ask real questions. We’re on assignment by God, or we have children to raise, and we don’t have time for games.
So, when I started dating my husband, I asked him real questions – even though he’s been my friend for over 20 years.
“What do you think your life’s purpose is? Why do you think God has you here? Do you like your job?”
He answered those questions for me, but they weren’t the super-spiritual answers I was looking for three years ago when I was vetting him. I mean how does GIS work fit into the Kingdom of God? Lol! My pastor friends kept telling me not to write him off because he didn’t give the super-spiritual answers.
The Lord let me know a couple of years after my first husband died that I would be married again. The Lord kept bringing the story of the woman who married several times in Matthew 22 to my remembrance.
“In the resurrection, then, whose wife of the seven will she be? For all of them had married her”—Matthew 22:28 (NRSV).
Initially, I never thought I would get married again. I had the desire too, but I never thought that I could trust someone around my children, so I had my doubts when God kept telling me I would get married. I even wrote about what the Lord was telling me about remarriage. He reminded me of Mary and Joseph. God spoke to Joseph to let him know that Mary and the child she was carrying were his family and that God was charging him to take care of them. God told me that he would speak to the man I was to marry and let him know that my children and I were his family. My now husband always said after we started dating seriously that we were his family and that he was “happy with the family God gave him” because I was concerned that it would be difficult and probably dangerous for me to bear more children.
Well, going back to my husband’s inability to articulate a super-spiritual life’s purpose. As I was watching him this evening put together a lamp that my supervisor and coworker bought us from our wedding registry, a light went off in my spirit (pun intended). I sat there and watched him. He had so much contentment in his face, and I could see that he was assembling the lamp with pride. He loves to fix things around the house and take care of us. In his words, he loves “the family life.” As I watched him, it clicked. Part of my husband’s purpose is to take care of us. God has given him charge over us and blessed him with the grace to do it in the same way God charged Joseph with Mary and Jesus. It sounds simple, but if you knew my life and what I have to wrestle with on a daily basis, you’d understand more of why God would equip and appoint someone to this charge. Joseph’s purpose was to provide a home for, teach, raise and care for the Son of God. That role probably didn’t seem major to the Pharisees and scribes, but it was extremely important and had eternal consequences.
This all happened tonight, and it just amazes me when God allows us to see pieces to the divine puzzle come together and gives us confirmation that everything is coming together just the way it is supposed to. I hope this brings encouragement to you if things seem confusing in your life.